Self-discovery is more legitimate by discovering how you impact others.
People are a lot of things to us. They serve us in unlimited ways in various capacities and at different times of our life. One not so obvious way they serve us shows up in the effect we have on them, and the way their responses reveal who we are being for them in those moments. It is quite serving to our relational acumen if we are willing to pay attention to the manifestations of our behaviors and actions. Truth is, every person you come in contact with is an indication of your relational acumen. The impact you make or don’t make on spouse, family, friends, associates, even strangers is evident if you’ll look closely. You can do this by evaluating the state of others when they’re in your presence. Are they excited, secure, peaceful, free-spirited, or are they tentative, insecure, skeptical, uncomfortable, agitated, or reserved? Not that we are responsible for other people’s emotions… that’s their job. But noting your effect on people is a fast and effective way to improve your relational abilities with all people if you are willing to inquire with questions like - “How did what I say resonate with you? Were you offended by my actions? Am I caring for you in a way that works for you? What’s missing for you in our relationship?” Is the way I’m loving relevant to you, and am I meeting your needs?” Of course, accepting your role in the state of others isn’t something you have to do, nor inquire about, but if you desire to improve your value to others, paying close attention can course correct or improve the relationship in a matter of hours, if not minutes.
Take a close look at the effects of your words and behavior on others today.
To what level am I aware of the effects of my behavior on others?
Do I care enough to ask others about my relational performance?